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Guy Ritchie: No Drugs? Must Be Something In The Water 25.Sep.2008

Did she leave yet? Really? !? This picture was taken recently, on the night of Guy's birthday, when Madge went home early and let him kick up the dickens with his blokes at the pub. Blimey, he looks happy!

But just so we're all clear, Guy says he doesn't like drugs, and hasn't since he was was 20. This I can believe, since everyone knows Madonna not only hates drugs, but will banish anyone she knows is doing them. She can do that, you know. She'll just buy up all the houses on the block and they'll have nowhere to live.

On his experimental phase, Mr. Ritchie says, "I had a drugs period, but I was quite young. I've not touched a drug since I was 20. I didn't like cocaine. I smoked puff, but it just got a bit dull and then it was all about hallucinogenics. But I got out of that scene. I've not touched them since."

That's all well and good, and we're happy that Guy has gone on to lead such a clean life. Someone should remind him, gently, that all that booze that he swills down in the pub is also a drug, albeit a legal one. Ask any drunk and they'll tell you. Unless of course his wife is around and he's stuck with another bottle of that secret holy water - he can't put it down. But only because it's tied to his hand with a little red string. Which is probably tied off to another part of his body that will be yanked off (pun!) should he try to remove said string. Kabbalah booby trap # 514. Works every time.