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Dea Recruiting Ninja Babies In War On Drugs, Will Eat Crackheads On Sight 03.Sep.2009

Snarl gurgle gurgleDon't be fooled by those shiny gums or dimply elbows. We're talking trained killers here, able to track a junkie like a bloodhound. And when they find their prey, without a warning, they POUNCE. All the Adderall in the world won't help you when a chuckling infant is gnawing at your throat.

Seriously, who in their right mind would let the Blohan hold their baby? She looks like she's about to topple over backwards - that baby probably outweighs her. She definitely has bigger arms and legs.

Wouldn't it be just horrifying if this chance encounter started Lindsay's biological clock ticking? Omigod, if that thing breeds ... the last thing this world needs is another Lohan.