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The Flavor Of Wonk: Paris Hilton Bags A Madden And A Reality Show, All In One Week 26.Feb.2008

Not obvious at allParis has been missing the A-list. She's also a lot smarter than she looks. When Benji Madden and Sophie Monk broke up a couple of weeks ago, Wonky's supercharged loins went into overdrive, luring poor Benji to hotspot St. Louis for a torrid weekend of spray tanning and binge drinking.

Benji's not her usual speed, but Paris has an ulterior motive: she misses her Simple Life sidekick, Nicole. Nicole hasn't been returning her calls lately, but she can't avoid Paris if she shows up with little Harlow's Uncle Benji. In a perfect world Paris would also get pregnant and settle down, but everyone knows she'd just forget a baby and leave it somewhere.

Just in case her twin conspiracy doesn't work out, Paris has a back-up: a reality show where she has to pick a new BFF from a group of contestants a la Flavor of Love. The winner will probably get a complete STD screening and free stay at a rehab of their choice.