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Will Jon And Kate Celebrate? It's Been Ten Long Years Of Adultery, Oppression And Really Bad Hair 12.Jun.2009

Not really tryingAll of which Us Weekly is happy to illustrate. With pictures, even. I wonder, though; we keep seeing all these pictures of Jon with other women. When do we get to see pictures of Kate mauling the bodyguard, the mailman, the parking attendant at her favorite restaurant? Surely there's more to this whole sordid mess than the parties are willing to admit.

Whatever the case, Jon and Kate decided to get together again after a couple of weeks apart, just in time for their tenth anniversary. I don't think they'll last out the summer. I also think that if they weren't mass breeders they wouldn't be having the problems they've been having.

Kate, I'm sure, is busy trying to spin the latest events into a new job. She's prepping her loyal audience to support her as a single mom. "Very swiftly, we turned into two different people, and that's just hard. I've tried for six months to figure out what the problem is, or remedy the problem." Huh. You've been married ten years but you've only been trying for six months? That could be part of the problem.