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Not Dry Yet: Not Only Is Amy Winehouse A Hopeless Drunk, She's Also A Life Saver 22.Jan.2009

Image via The SunAs long as you're not asking her to save her own life, that is. She's more than happy to help a person out, just as long as you let her go back to drinking herself to death. Why limit yourself to simple emphysema or lung cancer when you can really rock out with cirrhosis of the liver?

But it's not all about stealing tourists' drinks and shagging beach boys for our beloved Wino. She's become the Florence Nightingale of St. Lucia, saving a 6-year-old boy from eating poisonous cashews and even rescuing a woman who'd been knocked out of a boat by a large wave. For that woman's sake I hope she didn't attempt mouth-to-mouth.

Amy swears she's staying in the Caribbean until Blake Incarcerated is released from prison, when she plans to fly him down to join her. She's already flown her dad in, but that's only because no one will sell her booze at the resort anymore. Daddy will do anything for his little girl; he's always been a dedicated enabler. That's why she gives him such a good allowance.

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