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The Lohan Chronicles: Lindsay Prepares For Visit From Daddy 30.Aug.2007

I know you are but what am I? Michael Lohan finally won a round against his garbage scow of an ex-wife this week, when he announced that he's finally going to be reunited with Lindsay. Does this mean that he will start doing the other things a proper dad does, like paying child support?

Michael can vouch all day and all night for the true love and devotion he feels for his wayward little moneymaker, but if it was all really about Lindsay getting well, then why did he call Perez Hilton to spill his guts? He claims his ex-wife has had six DUI's and that her current boyfriend is a violent alcoholic and rapist. He also says he has proof that she's still doing cocaine in the form of a videotaped confession from the person who delivered it to her.

With all this horror going on (and this is just the stuff that leaks to the public), is it any wonder that Lindsay turned out to be the grotty little cokewhore that she is? Do you really think she has any chance of a full recovery with this kind of malarkey going on? Michael claims Dina's making a $375,000 salary as Lindsay's assistant - to have to pay her $500 a week in child support must be killing him. Like the Long Island white trash that she is, Dina will continue to make Michael's life as difficult as possible while issuing cryptic remarks about ten-year restraining orders against him and everyone being in a great place.