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Britney Spears, Retail Vixen: Shopping For Meth Trees, New Car, Throwing Herself At Court's Mercy 08.Nov.2007

You just don't understand meUh, sure, it happened just that way. Britney went to the chandelier store because she had to see where they grow the big crystal. They wouldn't let her get a taste so she had to drop a few thousand. Then she went out to Van Nuys to test drive a nice Mercedes SUV that she may or may not be buying this week. Sounds like hard work, right? Well, you're not a superstar; you'd never understand.

While Britney was out shopping and K-Fed was watching the nanny take care of his boys, their lawyers were back in court today. K-Fed's lawyer submitted a motion to change the visitation schedule because Britney has missed drug tests. Her lawyer countered that these testing people were like, calling her client at like, 8 AM and like, she has a number one album so like she's not like up that early. She said that since the judge isn't a pop star he can't be expected to understand, but perhaps he could show a little understanding of her circumstances. I mean, come on, GNC doesn't even open until 9:00!

While we're talking about drug tests, why is it that Kevin's never had to submit to any testing? Remember the stories of Britney kicking him out for smoking weed in the house? Now he can just kick back and get stoned all day long, just waiting for those fat checks to keep rolling in. Child support is not taxable income. Britney even pays the lawyers who helped take her kids away. No wonder she's wacky.