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Did Adnan Dump Britney Because She Aborted His Retirement Plan? 13.Mar.2008

Like a dirty Q-TipNot quite. But the headline on this week's National Enquirer might lead you to believe otherwise. It sure got my attention - and my money, because I had to read the story.

The headline reads: "BRITNEY ABORTS BABY! Now Adnan dumps her". Omigosh, right? Well, not exactly. Inside, the reader is treated to not one, but two stories about Britney and the swarthy pap with the love strip. "Britney's Secret Abortion" is allegedly "the untold story behind singer's mental breakdown". But unlike the cover leads you to believe, the story is about the abortion Britney had after breaking up with Justin Timberlake. Sources say that Britney never got over having the procedure, and that's what led to her marrying and breeding in haste and subsequent meltdown.

The second story is about Adnan getting caught cheating on Britney - no big surprise, that. Adnan supposedly spent five days shacking up with a lingerie model, who was photographed standing outside with him, wearing one of his shirts. You know, the Ed Hardy shirts Britney bought for him. Last week they were reportedly over, but he was spotted at the gate to her community with a pack of smokes and a crate of Red Bull, so I guess they're back on.