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Off The Hook? Lindsay Won't Be Arrested For Jewel Heist Yet, But Is She Ready For Machete? 03.Aug.2009

Wow, that took forever. You got the stuff? So now we're supposed to believe that Lindsay had nothing to do with the missing jewels she coveted so blatantly? Of course we have to keep in mind that the source is People, and the momager has long had a connection there. I'm just sayin' ...

Anyway, People talks of Elle UK's behind-the-scenes look at the scene of the crime, so to speak: the photo shoot where it all began. Their interviewers and camera crew apparently followed Lindsay around for a few days, hoping she'd slow down and fall asleep long enough for them to wrap things up, but they couldn't keep up with her. They even claim to have a "tearful confrontation with off-again, on-again girlfriend Samantha Ronson". Oh, the drama!

Now that she's walking around with that skanky bleached rag mop on her head Lindsay really looks like one of the walking dead. Maybe she's hoping that Machete will be her Twilight, and thinks she needs to get into character. Or maybe she's just too cranked out to care that she looks like a malnourished streetwalker.

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