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Heifer In Highlights: Kim Kardashian Actually Looks Pretty Good In Beyonce's Wig 28.Apr.2009

But not B's dressOmigod, did I just say that? Something nice about a Kardashian? I should call my doctor - it could be the onset of the swine flu.

Then again, the swine flu originated with pigs, not big, beefy cows, so it's probably just an honest compliment. It's so hard for me to say anything nice about people who annoy the hell out of me, but Kim actually does have some good qualities. You'll never see her staggering out of a club with blown-out pupils and white rings around her nostrils. Kim swears she doesn't drink or drug at all, and I tend to believe her. Oh, shit, there's two nice things. What's happening to me? !?

Wait; I've got it. This is also the girl who made a raunchy sex tape with a guy. She even let him pee on her. Don't believe her when she says she didn't know. She just pretended to be shocked and offended - right up until she accepted her alleged million dollar settlement. She may have toned down her image but that hot and horny heifer is still in there. Sooner or later she'll kick down the barn door again.

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