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New Jewel In The Lohan Crown: Now You Too Can Have A Tang Dirtyface Tan. Spacy Coke Eyes Not Included 10.Mar.2009

Fit for neither man nor beast: GRIND those teeth!Seriously, who wants their skin to be orange like that? It's not natural and gives nice things like pumpkins a bad rap. Giant orange gourds - even Lindsay's - are like so not hot.

But if for some reason you want to walk around looking like a radiated yam you must head to Sephora for a dose of Lindsay's new fake bake, called Sevin Nyne. She wanted to call it 69 but Sam yelled at her so she changed a digit and some spelling. So crafty. Or maybe it's secret code for the number in between. Hmmm. The product has a website - a page of text that says "coming soon" along with digits for the press contact. It looks pretty cheap, like maybe Lindsay did it herself.

There's no word how much this toxic-looking goop costs, but I would imagine it at least covers the drug tab for a night or two. It also doubles as a shoeshine paste, and you can even use it to cover scratches and stains in your hardwood floors. Take that, Orange Glo!