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Kim Kardashian Admits She'll Have To Do Something About That Huge Ass Someday 14.May.2009

Triple Spanx'd for your protectionHow refreshingly honest. Apparently the head heifer at the Triple K Ranch realizes she cannot resist gravity forever ... and when that monster trunk starts to drop she'll be ready for the chopping block.

Perhaps the Kardashian-Jenner household gets a family discount. Kim cannot stop gushing about her stepdad's radical new facelift. I hadn't seen Bruce Jenner in years, and was shocked at what he'd done to his face. He looks like a dotty old lady instead of a former Olympic gold medalist. I guess his "new" face is an improvement over the old one, but he looks like he's been to Mickey Rourke's surgeon. Or Jocelyn Wildenstein's. Somebody should lose their license for that.

Kim, however, is not easily deterred. Having no real job skills to fall back on, she's determined to fight the effects of sun, aging and a hearty appetite to stay in the tabloid spotlight. America truly is the land of opportunity. Where else can you become famous for playing the urinal on film?