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Britney Spears, Sloppy Breeder: Is She Really Pregnant Again, Or Just A Fat Tub O' Guts? 28.Nov.2007

Why y'all keep thinkin' I'm pregnant? I mean, really. How much more badly can this brainless queef mess up her life? And what's up with all the baby rumors lately? If she doesn't want custody of Sean and Jayden, what makes anyone think she'd want to adopt Chinese twins? It's just silly.

Nonetheless, my heart skipped a beat when I read the news: According to that lofty pinnacle of truth, In Touch, not only is Britney knocked up again, but they claim to have a confirmation from JR Rotem, the buttfaced producer who bragged about giving it to Britney "wheelbarrow-style". The story went on to say that on November 16, an ecstatic Britney e-mailed a sonogram picture of the four-week-old fetus to her "inner circle".

First of all, there is no such thing as a sonogram picture of a four-week-old baby. The baby would be too small to see - it's barely big enough to get a strong heartbeat on - trust me, I know. I've done this before. This is pure, unadulterated bullshit.

Britney's buddy, Sam Lufti, said as much to Ryan Seacrest this morning when asked about the rumor. Sam said, "It's BS. Don't know who made it up. J.R. doesn't even know what's up. It's fake. Completely fake. We just wrapped her video. Going home to sleep." To Britney's credit, she went home at 6:30 AM, then made it to parenting class at 10:00, which went on until 1:00. Guess there's no such thing as morning sickness when you haven't slept.

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