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Free At Last: Owen Wilson Released From The Clutches Of Manslinger And Her Angry Mother 08.May.2009

Butterscotch on a paddle boardAh, the Butterscotch Stallion. That hot mess of tousled hair, muddled eyes and horny cowboy. She roped him once, rode him hard then turned him out for a bright yellow model, sending him into a dark place he almost didn't come back from. But come back he did, and everyone was glad to see him out and about again.

But the manslinger wasn't done yet. The bright yellow one got bored with her quickly, and dumped her the way she had dumped BS. Just desserts! But not for long. Then came the disturbing news that MS and BS were seen visiting each other's houses. Empty-handed, and for hours at a time. Was she back for more? Was he out of his mind?

Yes, and no. Turns out they may have reconciled for a while, but it didn't last, reportedly because of the slinger's mom, who allegedly convinced slingerella that a guy who would slit his wrists just because you ditched him for his buddy would be "a bad risk" for her son. Apparently it's best if you just keep a steady flow of strangers coming in and out of an impressionable young child's life. Sound logic, that.