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That Dita Von Teese Is Such A Trouper. Her Mouth May Be Smiling, But Her Skin Is Crawling. 29.Jun.2007

She's probably thinking, "They don't pay me enough for this. Brrrr!!"

It's like being in a time warp

On the left you have Jesse Metcalfe, whose claim to fame was Eva Longoria's pool boy and pogo on Desperate Housewives. He's been milking that brief brush with fame ever since, even going so far as getting some rich broad to put him up in rehab for a month or so, only to come out looking slimier than ever. We're not going to conjecture on Jesse's sobriety or the lack thereof, as we have no proof and he likes the legal. He's not a has-been, he's that embarrassing rash that crops up at the worst times.

On the right you've got Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith, still out there hamming it up and rocking the Just For Men. No grey hair here! Ever since they did the Super Bowl I've lost respect for those Beantown boys. I will admit, though, that he's the hottest 90-year-old I've ever seen.

And stuck in the middle is our Dita, who's been through so much wearing so little. Never has a woman made pasties seem so dignified, although her champagne bubble bath routine has gotten a bit tired. Dita has become an icon, someone who can be sexual and erotic without flashing the taco. She could teach the celebutantes a thing or two.

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