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Michael Lohan Attacked By Killer Evangelist Sheep On Anti-wool Crusade 19.Dec.2007

You'll meet your maker soon enough, you baah-stardThe sheep have had their eye on him for years. Michael Lohan wears more wool than anyone else at the soup kitchen, and the sheep have been ... well, itching to get him. Unfortunately for them, they can't figure out the public transportation system and they're finding it hard to blend in on the streets of New York.

That is, except for a plucky little fellow named Eugene, who was determined to get this guy back into the cheap polyester and acrylics he was happy to wear until his daughter became famous.

When Lohan took a gig playing Joseph in a nativity scene, Eugene saw his chance and took it. He's been staring at him for three hours, just waiting until the cameras leave so he can ram and trample him into the bus lane. Then he and his buddies are headed for Central Park for a little free range grazing before the shepherds find them again. I smell a Disney moment!

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