The spoon is getting self-conscious... As taught to her by her non-fiance, Nick Lachey. I'm sure Jessica fell for that one, too. It's worked out well for both. They can't keep up with the job offers.
But Vanessa must be running low on funds, because she's come out of her relative seclusion. Her plan, or her publicists' apparent insistence, that she lay low and let the hot-tub-coochie-mama pictures die down must have killed her. I guess they figured enough time has passed so they let her out the gate, and what does she do? She simulates oral gratification with a white plastic spoon full of mystery goop. Ooh. So. Hot.
I think it was Lauren Bacall that said, "When you get older you have to be ready to trade your ass for your face". Turn around, honey. Finally, the part you were made for.