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Way To Go, Wonky! Paris Hilton Starts A Plague No Medicine Can Treat. Has Anyone Seen Tinkerbell? 12.Feb.2009

Rise up! We outnumber them!Does this mean that people all over California are stuffing their Chihuahuas in closets and forgetting about them? There's gotta be a better way to shut up those little ankle biters.

If there is, Left Coasters haven't found it. And now thousands of Chihuahuas have been left shivering and piddling in animal shelters all over the Tofu State, abandoned by airheaded young girls who lost interest in their little accessories before their first set of booster shots. Many shelters are now requiring adopters to be of legal age, a rule that wouldn't have helped the ones who ended up in Wonky's closet. Then again, she would never adopt a shelter dog when she can pay top dollar for an inbred puppy mill puppy.

Speaking of Ass Flaps, has anyone checked on how her alleged 17 Chihuahuas are doing? She hasn't appeared with one for ages, and it's been a while since Tink ran away or was dognapped. Maybe she ran off with the kinkajou; he likes to bite Paris but the little bitches can't resist him.

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