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With Dr. Jiffy Lube Gone, Priscilla Must Now Feed On The Blood Of Young Idol Rejects To Retain Her Youth 16.Dec.2008

YOM YOM YOM: Get it off me! Get it off me!Um, someone needs to tell her it's not working.

Poor Priscilla. She's the oldest looking 63-year-old plastic surgery junkie I've ever seen. Actually, I've seen 83-year-olds that look better. Yes, she was the victim of some questionable procedures, but the Tammy Faye-style makeup job isn't helping matters. With a few inches chiseled off she'd look so much better.

Maybe it's hard for Priscilla to accept her own mortality. No one does. But there comes a time when a person can become a caricature of themself by refusing to accept reality. Like Pamela Anderson running around in a bathing suit two sizes too small, or Michael Douglas appearing in a bathing suit that doesn't cover his grampy face. (Ouch, that hurt. But he's really let himself go.)

Priscilla, you are a grandmother. It's OK if you've got a few lines here and there, or that your jawline has gotten jowly. It's natural ... certainly more natural than that shiny smooth face. There are no crow's feet, no smile lines; it's just plain creepy. No wonder David looks so frightened.

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