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Cycle Jerk: One Nut Bike Boy A Real Bitch To Fly With 30.Mar.2009

Must be sore loser syndrome. Guess he's not the same mega-athlete he was when he wore that yellow jersey seven times. Is it age, or is he just ... out of juice?

Lance has always strongly denied he used any performance enhancing drugs when he was a champion. He decided to try the comeback route, saying he wanted to see if he had still had what it takes. Whatever the motivation, Armstrong can perhaps say one thing for sure: his reflexes aren't what they used to be. Caught in a pile-up at a recent race in Madrid, ONBB snapped his collarbone - in four places - and had to be flown home to Atlanta for surgery. Despite an ample supply of potent painkillers and first class bar service, Lance was such a nasty bitch he pissed off everyone else in first class and even got cut off by the attendants. That almost never happens up there.

According to an onboard snitch, Lance "was such an asshole. He was so wasted on painkillers, and he drank a lot." Way to go, role model to millions. Douche.