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Meet The New Federlines: Cash Warren Hits Sperm Lottery, Will Never Have To Work Again 13.Dec.2007

Can I get a Ferrari now? Don't let the publicists fool you. This child was not conceived for love. With her acting career heading nowhere fast, the thoroughly unpleasant, hopelessly untalented Alba was running out of options to keep her high, tight ass in the limelight. So what's an aging pinup model to do? Simple - have a baby. Bump is the new black in Hollywood.

In the meantime, her beau, Cash Warren, has been secretly elated. He almost lost out on his meal ticket when Jessica broke up with him for a while last year, but he's managed to worm his way back into her good graces. He hasn't held a job since they've been together. Now he may never have to work again ... and Jessica may never be able to get rid of him.

I used to like Jessica when she first came out in Dark Angel. Since that auspicious start she's wasted no time letting everyone around her know that she's a foul-tempered, self-centered bitch, and now I can't stand the sight of her. I'm looking forward to seeing her grow hugely, miserably uncomfortable as she adjusts to people staring at her ass for a whole new reason. Looking less than thrilled