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Harlow And Her Mommy Will Protect Uncle Benji From Others Like Wonky 06.Dec.2008

Let's poke her in her other eye, Uncle BenjiThat's nice, keeping the cockblocking in the family. But Benji could use all the help he can get. He took a beating when Paris dumped him to chase after Stavros again. (She thinks she's keeping it low-pro, but she's been leaving a trail, kind of like a snail.) Harlow and her mommy Nicole just love Uncle Benji. He's funny and sweet and deserves so much better than that.

While Benji licks his wounds (and waits for the go-ahead from the board of health) Nicole is watching his back. And front, for that matter. On a recent night out, Nicole went out of her way to keep all the little pretties at bay. She wouldn't even let them take his picture. "You look like shit right now anyway," she probably told him, and he went home in tears.

Will Benji get over his heartbreak and start eating again? He's an emo rocker, so he's supposed to maintain a certain level of angst, but it's painful to look at him right now. Maybe instead of chasing them away she can help him find a kinder, gentler, disease-free replacement, someone she can stand to be around for more than five minutes.