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Tiger May Have Liked Jessica's Stripes, But Billy Is Lost In Her Mystique 18.Dec.2009

Publicity she doesn't appreciateMystique? Jessica Simpson has mystique? I think she needs some of this.

Whether she has mystique or not, one thing's for sure: She did not get those stripes from Tiger Woods. As a matter of fact, they've only met once, and it was for a quick photo op, not a quick coital romp. She's so upset about being lumped in with a hopeless bunch of starf**kers that she's talking about suing Star for their cover this week.

Maybe she's worried about fallout in her new relationship with Billy Corgan. That's if they actually have a relationship - they could just be hooking up. If it's just sex, it must be that freaky pillow-biting, golden shower home porn that Jess has always been so fond of. Either that or he's confused about that whole Chicken of the Sea thing, too.