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3-way Catfight! I Mean, Food Fight! Martha Stewart, Paula Dean And Rachael Ray Battle To Be Queen Of Tv Cuisine 22.Sep.2010

Dream on, bitchesOh, this is gonna get ugly, folks. It's not a matter of who makes the best souffle, or whose pie crust is flakiest. There are millions at stake here between the shows, books and product endorsements, although it sure seems like there's enough market to share between the three. So what gives?

The problem, of course, is the super-sized egos attached to each cooking star, most notably that of Martha Stewart, who's got such a huge jump on the others - her shit is truly everywhere. Not even a stint in jail has humbled her in the kitchen much. Martha has no patience for the upstart, Rachael Ray (who I've made no pretense of liking), calling her a drunk. As for her other competitor, Paula Dean, Martha says Paula is going to make us a nation of fatties with her heavy comfort foods. I haven't watched much of Paula's shows, but what I did see did in fact look good in that guilty pleasure kinda way.

I think Martha and Paula are both head and shoulders above that annoying, gravel-voiced thing with the cheeks and the teeth. Rachael's big on the quick and easy, shortcuts galore, and a lot gets lost in the translation, so to speak. She's like a sideshow barker next to Paula's and Martha's poise and elegant presentation. Rachael's got a long way to go before she can nip at the sensible heels of the true culinary masters.