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Prettyboring Presents Random Nice Thoughts On Scientology 16.Jan.2009

ScientologyJust for shits and giggles, you know. I thought it might be interesting to see if I could dig up a few positive things about the church that barley milk built. The more I tried, though, the more I realized this would be a lot harder than I thought. But here goes:

1. Scientology helps people feel better about themselves. They feel so good in fact, that their good cheer radiates outwards and all can feel their good will. Prime examples of this include Lisa Marie Presley and Kirstie Alley. Can't you taste the love?

2. Scientology helps addicts get clean without therapy or prescription drugs. Just look what they've done for Jeff Conaway. Wait, has anyone seen Jeff Conaway? It's been a while ...

3. Scientology helps their members get their careers on track. Just being known as a member of the church can have an almost instant effect on an actor's career. (That's why so many agree to donate anonymously.)

4. Scientologists are among the most stylish people on the planet. Where else can you see elevator shoes, spray-on hair or denim shorts over stirrup leggings and pumps? Just goes to show that tacky has nothing to do with price.

OK, that's four semi-coherent nice things I can say about Scientology. It was a lot harder than coming up with say 10 or 20 negative things about the church. I've done my nice deed for the day. Now I'm going to throw snowballs at my neighbor's cats.