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Mariah's Jack Russell Is Furious. There's Nothing In His Contract About Those Things Being Naked 23.Feb.2008

Can never show his face againJack's no dummy. He knows he's got a good thing going with Mimi. He gets nothing but the best, even flying first class with Mommy in a private cabin. I mean, she sleeps almost all day long, leaving him the run of the joint. But when she gets up ... and she wants to give her baby a kiss good morning because there's nobody else there except the help ... and that big, round face is all puffy from sleep, well, it's scary to a little bitty dog.

That sleepy moon face is nothing compared to being tucked up under one of those giant mammaries, though. Try as he might, once she jams him in there, he's stuck. He thinks it's the silicon - it just doesn't give.

Just the other day Jack and Mimi were on the beach when Mimi dropped her top and picked up a magazine. Jack couldn't figure it out; he knows Mimi doesn't like to read. When he saw her try to cover her massive chest with it, he almost laughed (he would have, but he's a dog) - it was only big enough for one side! But before he knew it, Mimi had snatched him up and pressed him up against the other one. Furious at being photographed like that, Jack turned his face away, but the deed was done, and he'll never live it down at the polo grounds this spring.

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