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Michael Jackson Somehow Saves Neverland From Foreclosure. Who Would Give That Freak $24 Million? 13.Mar.2008

Chronic vagrant, at large in a city near youI mean, really. It's not like he'll ever be able to pay it back. The only major asset he holds is half of the Beatles catalog, and he has already borrowed so much against it he might not even have that equity at his disposal. With no income for the foreseeable future and a devout refusal to address his financial troubles, Jackson and his children face a lifetime of sleeping on other people's couches and floors, staying long enough to wear out their welcome before moving on to their next sucker, I mean, benefactor.

Jackson's legal team released the news today that Neverland was saved from auction at the last minute by a "confidential agreement" with Fortress Investment Group, the company holding the note on a $24.5 million loan Jackson has repeatedly defaulted on.

In other crazy Jackson family news, the entire clan is said to be considering a move to the English countryside, where they think the paparazzi won't bother them like they do in America. ? We hope it will be a family hideaway where my brothers and sisters can escape the media attention when we need to," says Tito, who adds that he's got book and TV offers in England as well. Besides, Janet is sick of them all living in her basement, eating all her Debbie Cakes and stealing all her couch change.