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Like A Dea Sting Operation, Vanity Fair Lures The Biggest Douches In The World To Photo Shoot By Telling Them Drinks Were Free. 13.Aug.2007

I'm not quite sure why they would want to do this, capture all this concentrated assholery in one room, but Vanity Fair apparently felt their role in Hollywood society was also worth six pages of text. Go figure.

Wall-to-wall losers From left to right: Kevin "Take-the-bitch-to-the-cleaners" Federline; Pete Wendt, Fall Out Boy who fights with Ashlee over eyeliner; Steve Aoki, DJ extraordinaire; Joel Madden, of Good Charlotte and Nicole Richie's babydaddy; Cisco "Baggy Balls" Adler, and Benji Madden, also of Good Charlotte and of the suspiciously skinny smoke. They all have a lot in common, and have also hooked up quite well, with K-Fed so far leading the pack after his multi-million-dollar divorce settlement from the girl he transformed from America's sweetheart to smelly little chumpot. Joel Madden may soon overtake that, however, with his impending baby and alleged marriage to Hollywood royalty, Nicole Richie.

What does the future hold for these incredibly dim nitwits? Federline has no musical or acting ability whatsoever. Expect him to burn through his bankroll (and Britney's) within just a couple of years, then probably move back in with Shar Jackson. Pete Wendt and the Madden boys actually seem to have some musical talent and might actually have some staying power. Steve Aoki is a Benihana heir - he won't go hungry, and will probably marry well. Cisco? He'll be pumping gas at the local Citgo in five years, scratching his bald, sunbaked head and hairy beergut.