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The Lohan Chronicles: Lindsay's A Fibber While Alleged Mom Is All Atwitter. Or Not. 26.Mar.2009

The BlohansYes, it's a real word. According to Webster's, the definition of atwitter is "in a state of nervous excitement". Otherwise known as all coked up and nowhere to go.

It's been about two years since Lindsay's last DUI and possession arrest. I say last because it's only a matter of time before she gets popped again and she'll either be under the influence or holding. Or both. Anyway, it's been two years, and Lindsay isn't working. Nor are there any offers in the pipeline. But it's not her fault: It's all those haters out there, telling lies and spreading rumors about her. Lindsay swears "I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't lie," and that "my parents still taught us how to have tact, class, respect for others ..." Yeah, OK.

Speaking of parents, the reclusive (and homeless? ) White Oprah reared her ugly head as well in defense of the girl who once made her rich. UPDATE: The Dina Lohan Twitter is a hoax. Too bad. It made for some great reading. Speaking of the momager, where has she been lately? Ali's gone, too.