The Hoff went to London for Simon Cowell's monster birthday bash, which by all accounts was just off. The. Hook. You know? Kate Moss and her Killer boyfriend got into a fight because some guy in a banana sling accosted her. Some guy left at 5:30 am without his clothes. Not to be undone, apparently David Hasselhoff drank himself nasty and incontinent. That's right; I said incontinent. He's gotten so bad that he pisses himself after he passes out - like a wino - and he ruined two mattresses in the hotel where he was staying. He's also a very tall (6'4") man who is said to be ... difficult when drunk. When the staff couldn't take his abuse anymore, they called the hotel doctor, who the Hoff promptly socked in the forehead. Eventually they all ganged up on him and locked him in the basement until an ambulance could take him away.
I know he's a grown man and all, but can't somebody get the Hoff into rehab? This is the sixth time this year he's been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. And then there's the fact that he allegedly assaulted the hotel physician. Why weren't the police called? Can nothing sway the Hoff from his deadly binges? What a terrible thing for his daughters to see.