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Jessica Simpson Stoops To New Low: 1:00 Am Booty Call To John Mayer's Hotel Room 20.Jun.2007

It's like the old Van Halen song: Look, I'll pay you for it. What the ..." Everybody wants some. Some folks deliver.

Oh, Jess. This whole John Mayer thing is getting just too painful to watch. Why does she keep coming back for more no matter how hard he slaps her down? He lets her get loaded into the wrong limo in Manhattan, and doesn't lift a finger to save her from being dumped at JFK in a boobalicious dress. He dumps her in Mexico, holding her dog in his lap, as she sits on a hedge in a towel. He publicly ridicules her persistence poolside with his buds in Beverly Hills.

Ahh, but nighttime is a different story. Little Johnny gets lonely in that strange old hotel room, and well, her body is a wonderland and all, so he picks up the phone and makes nice. Jess, not understanding that he has only his dick at heart, goes running to his side, only to be bent over the back of the sofa and then sent on her merry way.

Jess, make a clean break. Post-breakup sex can be physically gratifying, but if you still have feelings for the guy, it's going to rip your guts out every time you leave him. Maybe it will be fun to let him chase you for a change. Or for once.