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Christina Aguilera Needs To Wear Less Makeup. Really. 26.Sep.2008

BeautifulNo, sillies. This is not really Christina, but it's a fairly good approximation of her sheer cosmetic mass. How can she breathe with 15 pounds of pancake, 3 to 5 lbs. of eye shadow (depending on how many colors she uses) and at least 5 pounds of high-gloss, phosphorescent lipstick? If that ever falls on baby Max it could be deadly.

I will admit that Christina has grown up a lot since her days of being Dirrrty in yellow chaps under the Brooklyn Bridge. She seems to have settled nicely into married life with he who makes her howl like a monkey and their son. So why does she feel the need to slap on the war paint like that? Is she afraid she's outgrown her pinup sexy phase? Well, yes, she has, but that doesn't make her any less pretty. Her nursing boobs are also impressive. But she's forgetting what made her famous.

What made Christina Aguilera a star is her amazing voice. Her rivalry with Britney was always a joke. While Christina was by far the superior singer, Britney became (arguably) more famous on her sex appeal. Now that they're both little mommies with families, it's Christina who has the professional upper hand - she doesn't need costumes, gimmicks or upskirts to sell her albums. She's got pipes. Jordy should tell her to leave the clown paint for role-playing night.

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