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Cattlemen Tried Everything, But Could Only Corral Biggest Kardashian Heifer For 4 Hours, 27 Minutes 21.Jul.2008

I AM a bomb threat, bitchesNice mustache. They thought they really had her this time. After somehow eluding an entire posse of cowpokes (even though she's like 8 feet tall) the long arm of the law finally stuffed Khloe and her ample curves into a little box. Don't light the grill just yet, though; the other hairy heifers found a way to spring her before she made it to the chopping block.

Khloe spoke to Everywhere Man Ryan Seacrest this morning on the radio about her abbreviated stay at the Lynwood facility where Paris Hilton and Nicole Hilton served their DUI sentences. Khloe told Ryan that the fourth anniversary of her father's death sent her on a bender, and she regrets not having the good sense to hire a driver.

"We were going out a lot...trying to hide the pain. And I went out, but I went out the wrong way. We should have had drivers, and we just weren't being smart."

Khloe claims that the facility received three bomb threats in the short time she was there, earning her a visit from the warden. Once he realized she wasn't the one with the big cans and ass, though, he sent her home. Upon release, she went out drinking with her mom, proving yet again that the rich think they're better than everyone else, and do indeed live by a different set of rules.