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Britney Spears, Innovative Parent: How To Feed Kids And Dog From One Dish 26.Aug.2007

Sure, it may look like a birdbath, but in reality, it's the family soup tureen. That's not birdshit you see floating in there, it's chicken and pastina.

No, don't put Mama's cigarettes in there. Again.

Brit looks somewhat less than overjoyed in this picture. You know how it is - bright sunshine, fierce hangover, belly full of pork rinds and beer, and then one of the kids slam dunks your cigarettes in the bird bath. There are 300 paparazzi camped out at the end of your driveway, so there's no such thing as a quick trip out for smokes.

Sean and Jayden may not be able to talk yet, but they do know they hate Mama's secondhand smoke almost as much as they hate Uncle Criss and his handcuffs. They miss being with Daddy and Grandma Lynne, where their diapers are changed more than once a day and they get milk in their bottles instead of RC Cola. They just wish Daddy would stop calling them Bling and Ka-Ching, and that Mama would stop blaming them for breaking London's little leg. Maybe if she could see her feet she wouldn't have stepped on him.