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Kevin Connelly Stood On 3 Phone Books So He Could Kiss Scarlett, But She Left For Taller Guy 20.Jan.2008

Why won't she look at me? It was hard to balance atop three phone books, but it was the only way she could see him over the garbage cans and traffic cones. He teetered, he tottered, he swayed. But it was no use - she looked right past him.

Scarlett has set her sights a bit higher than Kevin's four-foot-ten-inch frame. Word on the street is that Ms. Johansson is about to become engaged to Ryan Reynolds, that incredibly hot guy that was once engaged to Alanis Morrisette. Guess he could do better. And she certainly took a step up from that scuzzy Josh Hartnett. His face looks like the ass-end of a wild boar.

Kevin was simply inconsolable. First Nicky Hilton, now Scarlett. Of course he and Scarlett never dated, but Kevin doesn't want to hear that crap. "It was love! True love!" he might have shrieked at his much taller friends. Because of their difference in height, every time he stood in front of Scarlett he got an eyeful of what Mizrahi couldn't keep his paws off. "I could have died a happy man," Kevin may have sobbed. "Curse these stubby limbs."