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Brokeback Bong Hits: Owen And Woody Caught In Private Moment, Pummel Peruvian Paparazzi 06.Dec.2007

We can't do it again. I'm still sore.

Ha! Try saying that five times fast!

Owen Wilson, world-renowned as the Butterscotch Stallion, and Woody Harrelson, world-renowned as prodigious consumer of all things cannabis, are on a rock-hunting trip to Peru, where they're sampling the country's finest flake. No, actually they went to visit a children's shelter they co-founded. But what started as an innocent goodwill tour has gone horribly awry, and the hapless potheads now stand accused of man-handling a pair of photographers who may or may not have overstepped their bounds.

In an uncharacteristically un-stoner like move, the two dudes are being accused of holding one pap hostage while they roughed up another. My question is this: What were Owen and Woody doing when the paps discovered them that caused them to overreact so violently? Were they smoking pot? Last time I checked that was a sedative, not a stimulant. Blowing rails? Owen's supposed to be clean, and it's not Woody's speed (pardon the pun). Or was it something more ... intimate? Stranger things have happened, but I dunno. That's just too weird.

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