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Whitney Port Airs Out Nipple (again) In Central Park, But Nobody Cares 09.Aug.2009

Doesn't that breeze feel lovely? Sunbathing in your bra in Central Park? Huh. Real New Yorkers don't do that. Real New Yorkers know how to keep their shirts on and their bits covered - during the day. At night, well, anything goes, but during the day, at a place where people bring their children? Nah. Ain't happenin'.

Of course, this is not real life. This is reality programming, where people get paid stupid money to do stupid shit, and so when the director told Whitney to strip down to her skivvies in a public park I'm sure she didn't even think twice. Don't think this photo op was staged? Where are the bystanders? The panhandlers? The dude with the dreds hawking nickel bags? !?

If this was the real world, and not the world as MTV sees it, as soon as Whitney peeled off her top and laid on the Great Lawn, some mommy would have smacked her in the head and told her to put her clothes back on. She'd have been surrounded by middle-aged opportunists on their lunch break, or she'd be given a citation by some horny cop who just wanted to make her bend over that backpack again. She wouldn't be rolling around in the grass with her legs in the air - all by herself - for very long.