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John Kerry Says Lindsay Lohan Could Be President In 10 Years, And He Loves Teresa For Her 57 Flavors. 30.May.2007

Bending ItYou can just hear his jowls sloshing around. This guy is smooth.

I never liked John Kerry. I always thought he was a pretentious twit and mamby-pamby flip-flopper. Even in his home state of Massachusetts he's not well-liked, but I think he's related to the Kennedys in some way, and that has allowed him to enjoy an uninspired career in Congress.

When Kerry ran for President in 2000, one of the biggest obstacles he faced was image: He and his wife, Heinz ketchup heiress Teresa, came across as the Brookline upper crest snobs that they are - they just didn't know how to get humble. The harder they tried the worse they looked - it was pathetic, and ultimately for the Kerry campaign, insurmountable.

With the 2008 Presidential race right around the corner, Kerry is getting that itch to run again, but no one will give him the time of day. Desperate for attention at a recent appearance, Kerry evoked the name of the ultimate publicity whore - Lindsay Lohan - as a potential President ten years from now. Then she got arrested and sent to rehab, while Kerry was said to plunge into deep depression, watching his hopes for the dream ticket go up in smoke. I've got a special ballot