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Some Cannes, Some Cannot, Part I: Tara Reid Off The Wagon, Bares Her Ass 18.May.2009

Has anyone seen my paaaants? !? Poor Tara. She's obviously not sober anymore. AND WHERE ARE HER ARMS? Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Could she have picked a more heavily publicized event? And this isn't the worst shot - just the sorriest. Bitch couldn't even walk.

There have been whispers the last couple of weeks that Tara might be tippling around the edges of a relapse. Sadly but not surprisingly, it appears to be true. Was it because she's being left out of the American Pie remake? (She tried to hold out for more money and got slapped down.) Or was it because getting sober didn't do dick for her career? That's the only reason she agreed to rehab - they told her she'd get work if she cleaned up her act. When the work didn't come in, perhaps Tara just threw up her hands and elbowed up to the bar.

What will become of Tara now? Well, she'll probably sleep around Europe for most of the summer, then head back to Australia for more hosting gigs. She's not going hungry any time soon - this girl invested her money well and can live off her real estate holdings. But she'd do well to get back into treatment.