Now everyone will knowIt's simple. Go to your nearest all-night drug store, and pick up a few gallons of spray-on self-tanner. Apply liberally. Be sure to wear gloves and socks so your hands and feet remain deathly pale. The contrast is a real conversation starter. Guaranteed.
Stay up all night using whatever means necessary, or whatever's handy. Like the special deliveries you were getting on the Ugly Betty set that pissed off the real star of the show. Make sure to wash all those stimulants down with massive amounts of alcohol so you look both dehydrated and bloated the next day.
Here's the most important part: Smoke. Constantly. Don't just breathe, make sure a cigarette is involved in each inhale and exhale. Nothing ages a woman's face like sucking on a cancer stick. Those lines! Those brown stains! Just divine!
Just follow these steps and you, too, can look 20 years older - overnight. The best part? Well, there is none. But think of all the fun you'll have waiting for the phone to ring.