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Where Would Madonna Be Without Kabbalah Water And Botox? On A Box Of Raisins, Of Course 29.May.2008

Making healthy snacks somewhat less unappealingWhat, you thought her freakishly tight face was a result of her healthy lifestyle? Not likely. She works out far too much to have such smooth skin - any woman over 30 needs a certain amount of body fat or they start to look drawn and haggard. If there's any doubt on that, just look at her hands - they look like an 80-year-old's.

Madonna faces the dilemma many middle-aged (and older) celebrities now deal with: how to remain hip and relevant without becoming a sideshow freak. Her cosmetic procedures aren't blatantly apparent (her black eyes a few months ago are a good indicator that she had a face lift right before her latest album was released) but she does look unnaturally young. And as much as I loved 4 Minutes, perhaps the dance pop thing is getting a little dated for her. Watching her jump around on cars with Little Man Timberlake was a little hard to take. It was like watching him being chased by the hall monitor.