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Dust Off That Kitty Pipe: Amy Winehouse Heading Back To Britain To Save Marriage 27.Jan.2009

Stalking the elusive daiquiriYeah, right after she throws that tennis pro another brutal shagging. And the pool boy. And the gymnastics instructor. Unfortunately, Amy's had enough of all that good clean living in the tropics, and is headed back to England to reunite with ... her husband. Yeah, that's the ticket. Her husband.

Blake Incarcerated is most surely not Amy's real reason to head back. Her dad flew down to St. Lucia a couple weeks ago, allegedly to slow her roll, but probably just to get paid. That's the only time he shows up. Officials there were complaining that she was draining the tiny island of any and all alcoholic beverages; other guests were being left high and dry by Amy's liquor-snatching antics. They simply cannot keep up with her manic consumption. Plus, they're sick of looking at her naked boobies and grungy bikini bottoms, day after day. Shit gets old, people.

So Amy's heading home, not to her incarcerated cuckold but to her truest true love: the pipe. It's time to fire that bitch back up again, make up for lost time, shed that 20 pounds she so effortlessly put on without it. If past behavior is any indication, it'll be hours, if not minutes, and she'll be careening around Camden in her underwear again.