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Prettyboring Reveals The Secret Of Britney And The Omnipresent Lollipop 12.Aug.2007

Just can't get that from a Tootsie Roll PopBoy, she really had me fooled there for a while. I thought it was one of those oral fixation things, like Ecstasy and pacifiers. No, this is even better than Lindsay filling her water bottle with vodka - we're talking hard narcotics, people!

Britney has developed a penchant for medicated lollipops. First introduced to them in Europe, when she dabbled in pot lollies, Britney has allegedly found the good stuff - lollipops laced with fentanyl, normally prescribed to patients with terminal cancer who cannot swallow pills. Fentanyl is also extremely popular with the methadone crowd - those trying to kick heroin but still needing that felony narcotic buzz - and is also extremely addictive. If Britney is in fact playing with these nasties, they should get those children away from her pronto, before she nods off with a cigarette in her hand and burns the house down.

In other Britney news, her newly-returned sidekick, Alli, was served with a subpoena from K-Fed's lawyers as she left a club at 2:30 am the other night/morning. She was understandably less than pleased, but will she tell the truth? Or will she perjure herself to remain in Britney's good graces? Britney seems to be keeping her at arm's length these days - I guess that infatuation has gone the way of all the others.