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Speaking Of 50-year-old Hags, It Has Baby Jesus In Its Power, Kept Prisoner With Red String And Macrobiotic Gruel 16.Mar.2009

It's not rosewater, it's Kabbalah waterI think this picture is a rare look at the real Madge, before she puts the glamor girl mask on.

Make no mistake, Madonna is a world-class control freak. It's what made her a star, but it has also made her almost unbearable to live with. Just ask Guy; he knows all about It.

For some reason Madge has decided to move her baby Jesus into her Manhattan apartment. Is it because she's madly in love with him, or because she can't trust him out of her sight? I'll just bet it's the latter. He looks like the himbo type, all blue eyes and sexy lips. She's no dummy, and she knows she really can't compete with a woman his age ... except for her two best attributes: she's obscenely wealthy and she's unabashedly powerful, and she's not afraid to use either to get her way. Jesus has gone from $120 a gig to $100,000 a gig. He's gone from a pretty little nobody to an internationally known f**k toy. He doesn't care what she looks like or what she makes him eat. He's living the American dream.