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Just Another Wandering Dick: Jesse James Loses Sandra And Cinnabun For Fling With Ink Chick 18.Mar.2010

HomewreckerAw, man. This really bums me out. I've had a thing for Jesse James lately ... but I'm glad to say I had nothing to do with this mess. First of all I live 3,000 miles away and have a very hot Irishman in my life. Besides, I only have one tattoo (I won't say where). I don't think I'd qualify as a "fetish model". Whatever the f**k that is.

The latest celebrity cheating scandal has hit the fan, and it ain't pretty. Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock has had to pull out of promotions for her latest flick and go into hiding because her idiot husband screwed around while she was out of town filming. Sandra has reportedly vacated the marital residence. To make matters worse, Jesse's dog Cinnabun has disappeared again, too. He and Sandra had just won custody of his daughter with the porn star; I wonder how this will affect that case.

Here's the scoop: Sandra's publicist got a call from In Touch told them they'd be running a story about Jesse's affair with a tattoo model. Of course the silly bitch is spilling the beans, and even claims to have "smoking gun texts" from the Garage Monster. Today Jesse released a very ambiguous apology to Sandra and his family for the pain he's caused them. It was all very heartfelt without admitting to anything. Will she forgive him? It's hard to say. Her friends are now saying that he's a handful to live with, what with his volatile temper and controlling ways. Perhaps she'd be better off throwing in the towel. It's not like she'd suffer a loss of income or anything - she probably makes more than he does. She really didn't deserve this.

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