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Prettyboring Exclusive: How Heidi Montag Made Her Millions. Spencer Taking Notes 02.Jul.2008

Do I have to swallow it? No wonder she got her lips artificially inflated. That way she won't have to feel or taste a thing.

Sure, they'll make a sex tape. It's only a matter of time ... and finance. He's sold her ass every other way possible. She must be as dumb as a post to believe this guy is looking out for her best interests. He's probably skimming funds for his Swiss bank account. There's one guy the Swiss will be happy to rat out.

And now Spencer Pratt, aka Slim Goodbody, has had to eat his words. Today the little douche nozzle apologized for calling Mary Kate the less cute Olsen troll, I mean, twin - but not without getting in another snide little dig. Claiming his passion for soccer caused him to lose his composure, Spencer admitted he's jealous of Mary Kate. Said Pratt, "I want my face on a lunchbox, too." That's funny. I thought it would fit better in a glory hole.