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Loser Watch: Mischa Barton Gets Dumped By F-list Boyfriend, Can't Afford Makeup Artist Anymore 08.Feb.2009

SOUP SANDWICH (emphasis on "wich")Talk about a slow-burning stump. When will this cochon sale d'une salope pack it up and go home already? She's biodegrading before our very eyes, making her an environmental hazard as well as a social nuisance.

Recently she started seeing this no-name dude from a band called The Kooks. She tried to make it seem like a great romance, but you could see the kook was not impressed. He was just putting up with her shit.

It didn't take long for even that to wither. Last week someone released a statement that the two had called it quits after only a month or so, allegedly because he wouldn't tag along to Fashion Week in Paris. He had better things to do than carry her bags and hold her hair back while she yarks up her dinner to stay thin. And guess what? He really wasn't that into her, and chased anything that moved while away from her on tour.

Not to be deterred, Mischa will undoubtedly march on, fueled by as many illicit substances as she can get her hands on (read: steal from her junkie sister). Let's hope she stays in Paris and that her parents never run out of money and we might not have to see her again. (wishful thinking)