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Prettyboring Presents Putin: Pale, Hairless And Not Available In Stores. 24.Aug.2007

You can't buy this look. Countless thousands have tried to emulate this man and ended up in a Siberian gulag. Meet the man who caused condoms to fly off the shelves in his homeland. For real.

Big, bad VladYes, he is a world leader, and a shameless one at that. Perhaps you recall the picture of him kissing a little boy's belly? Cuh-reepy.

Putin's also the guy who's stealthily turning back the clock in Russia, taking state control of businesses, supressing the media, jailing and otherwise making disappear dissidents and detractors worldwide. He's definitely the kind of guy who wouldn't think twice about a few drops of polonium in the sake, if you know what I mean. Kinda gives you chills, doesn't it?

As much as some other world leaders portray themselves as semi-literate boors, at least they keep their shirts on. Putin is making a primitive statement by posing with his flimsy pole in hand, muscles clenched. If I lived in his country, I'd be sure to keep my lip zipped and go about my business quietly. It's a good thing that I'm here and he's there, then, isn't it?

Of course Putin is a former KGB man and probably has the blood of a few thousand peasants on his hands - check out the look on his face. It says if he wants to find me, he will find me. Ha! Catch me if you can, comrade!