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Madonna Won't Let Guy Leave Until After Her Tour, Is Not Sleeping With A-rod 02.Jul.2008

Back when Madge traveled economy classOr A-Pole or even A-Cucumber. She sleeps with her Blackberry, remember? I guess if it's set to vibrate ...

Madonna and Guy's alleged marital difficulties have been all over the press. Even mainstream media is talking about their leading separate lives, Guy's defection from Kabbalah, his revulsion when she pins him two out of three times ... it's really hard for a guy to love a woman who can whoop his ass.

Nonetheless, I really hope these two work it out. They seem so well-matched (read: he's so tolerant of her control freak ways). But Madge is like an underfed billy goat: she can only be content to graze in the same paddock for a short time before she starts looking for greener grass. Contrary to popular belief, however, she's not munching on A-Rod's hedgerow. According to Perezzle, the cheating Rodriguez turns out to be Alex's wife Cynthia, who is said to have left their two kids for a torrid fling with none other than Lenny Kravitz. Huh? !?

But I digress. I hope that Madge and Guy work it out. I like her much better as an Englishwoman than a tacky broad from the Midwest that pretends to be a New Yorker.