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Jessica Biel Can't Sell A Movie To Save Her Life - Even Topless 27.Apr.2009

Soon to be in the bargain DVD binHonestly, she's got a great body and all, but I could never see how anyone could say she's so sexy. I mean, Fergie has (had? ) a mad sexy body, too, but she never makes the list. IMHO Biel is too butch.

But she wants to be so much more than just a great rack and a high, tight ass - she wants to be a movie star. There's just one problem: She can't act. She never could. That's why the folks at Seventh Heaven let her go when her head got too big. They knew they'd be fine without her.

The only good thing the Biel has done for her career in the last two years was to keep little Mr. Timberlake in a hammer lock, not letting him out of her sight for more than a few days at a time, and pimping those marriage rumors with all she's got - certainly more than what she's given her alleged craft. Maybe if she invested in a few acting lessons instead of learning how to be a stripper she might make a movie that gets picked up for distribution. Powder Blue will not be that movie. Anyone interested in seeing Jessica's magnificent rack can head over to the bargain bin at Blockbuster - and probably have enough left over for a six pack and a burger or two.